So the holidays are over and most of us ate too much I'm sure. I just wanted to say how proud I am of Mary-Kate for sticking to her diet rules over the holidays. I know it was really hard to do. We did let the daily exercise routine slide because it just wasn't practical with house guests.
I read a lot about people who have used discipline and incentives to help the weight loss process succeed. Body image is a very sensitive thing and so its difficult to separate the thing that you want to change (wifeys weight) from the thing that you are very satisfied with (wifey).
I had never really confronted Mary-Kate about her weight because she has some health problems that have limited her physical activity. Also her medication can make her body chemistry go wacky so that changes the way her body processes food. (Also basic male survival dictates that you never critizise a female that you live with for being overweight) I think the point when it became apparent that something had to change was when the doctor told us that Mary-Kates weight might be preventing us from having a baby. Of course this was enough motivation for her to alter her eating habits, take her medicine on a regular basis, and start walking a couple of miles each day. She did all this mostly on her own (she reaaallllly wanted a baby) I provided a little help by going on walks with her everyday. It worked! Through God's grace she lost 15 pounds and we made a baby! Fast forward a year through a difficult pregnancy and a couple surgeries an emergency c-section and she was back at her old weight. This was certainly expected after having a baby but it was still a little frustrating after she had worked so hard to get the weight off originally.
I know lots of women struggle to loose their pregnancy weight and Mary-Kate was no exception. Once the doctor told her "you should be loosing your pregnancy weight" she started watching her calories and exercising again. I think without the incentive of getting pregnant she just didn't have the will power needed to stick with her weight loss routine. I think the most frustrating part is she knew she could keep to her diet and exercise program because she did it before all by herself! (Insert stamping foot and pouty face here)
It took a little convincing that she needed help with this but I think most of this had to do with the consequences if she didn't follow through with her diet and exercise. We did some research on the human body and how many calories you can safely "deprive" yourself of without it hurting your health. I know some people set goals of loosing a pound or two a week but I was worried about Mary-Kate starving herself in order to meet that goal. (She hates spankings that much) We settled on 1500 calories a day and walking four miles a day. This should mean that she looses one to two pounds a week. She came up with the rule that she will plan out the meals for the upcoming week and if she wants to eat something other than the planed meal then she has to ask permission. I was surprised she wanted such a strict rule. Personally I wouldn't mind if she ate extra calories as long as she is responsible to exercise more to make up the difference. We also got rid of all the junk food and snacks in the house. Not a bad thing, but I sure do miss having granola bars to snack on. (Oh, the trials of being the HOH)
She has done really well with this program and I knew she would. The weight loss hasn't happened as fast as we would like but she does have more energy, she doesn't get winded as fast when we go on walks, and she has got some rock hard calves. (Mmmmmmm!) So all in all we know she is getting healthier and her doctor is happier and the rest will just take some time. She hasn't stuck to her diet perfectly but I haven't spanked her for the times she screwed up either. There have been a few times when things have been outside of her control like when we eat with friends or company spends the night and she can't exercise in the morning. I try to evaluate her on whether she is doing her best to follow the rules we made together. If she is making an honest effort then I can't really ask for more than that.
Good luck to everyone whose new years resolution included loosing weight. Here's a good post from a fellow DD'er about a similar issue. http://findingsara.wordpress.com/2011/01/02/dd-is-mental/
-Sean
Thanks for the update Sean. I know Mary-Kate knows that she is fortunate to have your support in this difficult challenge.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with losing weight. The trick is to get back into the routine after you've "blown" it. I know you and she can do it.
ReplyDeleteHi Sean, It seems you two are really working on this together, which is great, One of the things Grant has done that has helped me tremendously, and which it seems you are doing, is make it his business to really encourage, help and support me. We take walks together, He will schedule a Sat afternoon "date" so we can get a light lunch and walk through antique shops, or along a river nearby, rather than sit and watch a movie. We have changed our lifestyle just a little bit, together, and that has made a huge difference!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Sara